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| Etiquette Differences | |
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| Topic Started: Aug 7 2007, 02:56:57 AM (1,607 Views) | |
| TerritorianTori | Aug 7 2007, 02:56:57 AM Post #1 |
It couldn't happen here
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While cruising around another forum, I saw a thread regarding the act of hosting one's own birthday party. One poster commented that "here in Australia", not only is it perfectly OK to host your own birthday party, but it would be considered extremely egocentric to expect someone else to do the all planning, organising, & paying for it. Is this true? I remember that in my part of the US, hosting one's own birthday party (unless one is a child) is "just not done"... someone else does it for you. But of all the birthday parties I've been to in Australia, I can't think of one that was hosted by the birthday person him/herself... maybe a family member, but not the person who was having a birthday. And then this got me thinking... what are some other glaring etiquette differences you've noticed between the two countries? |
 South Texas to the Northern Territory - since 2004 I'm a huge fan of... Angry Video Game Nerd | The Big Bang Theory | Doctor Who | Pet Shop Boys | Yanks Down Under ~ Americans living in Australia Avatar by Sketch Shop Boys I don't do Facebook, sorry. | |
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| tazydevil5 | Aug 7 2007, 09:05:48 AM Post #2 |
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True Blue Mate
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Oh puuuuuleeeeeaaaase!.....what a load of cods!!!!... I have NEVER seen anyone host their own party.... I would think they were pretty on 'emselves if they did LOL... Love Robyn |
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| melbar | Aug 7 2007, 09:12:15 AM Post #3 |
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Chinwagger
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This one has me laughing, ever since i left home i hosted my own parties as every other person i knew did, unless it was a suprise party. But one thing i have noticed with the two countries is here in America if you go to a friends place for a meal, you leave soon after, in Australia im use to staying on till all hours of the night. Im use to staying on till all hours of the night in Australia, and also, ive noticed that people dont just come to visit out of the blue like back in Australia, oh oh and also there seems to be a time limit on what time you call around (this is at night) but back home it never mattered, but this is just what i was use to, so im not saying its the same for eveybody 
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| surfermomkelly | Aug 7 2007, 09:45:02 AM Post #4 |
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True Blue Mate
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Hmm...I'm not sure what is proper or not. But I celebrating my 40th brithday party last year in Australia. My good friend hosted it at their house and we paid for EVERYTHING. (it was a bit expensive we had waiters and ipen bar, etc.) |
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| surfermomkelly | Aug 7 2007, 09:46:18 AM Post #5 |
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True Blue Mate
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and about the visiting thing. In oz our friends pop over whenever, even when I am still in bed. I have woken up to people in my kitchen making coffee and brekky after checking the surf LOL over here in the US that never ever happens. |
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| Emily_Wilkins | Aug 7 2007, 10:04:21 AM Post #6 |
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True Blue Mate
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Funny that you mention it...We were invited to a 30th B-day party hosted by the person whose birthday it was. She rented out a bar, paid for signature drinks, hired a DJ, etc! It was pretty full on! If I had an extra 2 or 3 grand per month, I'd probably throw more parties for myself! |
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| melvan | Aug 7 2007, 10:10:29 AM Post #7 |
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True Blue Mate
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In our circle people host their own birthday party, or a family member does. We host our own, but then Darrin's birthday is 9 days after mine so we just have one big BBQ in between the two. |
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| Dev | Aug 7 2007, 10:12:37 AM Post #8 |
"No day but today."
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I've never hosted my own party, but I notice that a lot of people do. I'd feel REALLY uncomfortable with organising and hosting my own birthday party. It's just........ehh.......... I can't really think of anything off hand. I know Nick and I were discussing this about a week ago, but I can't think of anything we mentioned! LOL I will mention, though, that I also never knew about the dinner party thing in the US where you leave soon after dinner. It's *never* been like that in my family. You always stuck around for a while to chat and have a nice time so it wasn't like you were just using them for a free meal. Maybe we're just weird. LOL Stranger things have happened! |
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Devon ----------------------- "What a shame that bitter irony has no nutritional value." 
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| mtnrun | Aug 7 2007, 11:30:09 AM Post #9 |
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Anklebiter
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I've been to three 40th birthday parties in the last 6 months and they were all hosted by the person having the birthday, so in our circle of friends I guess it's a common practice. When I was in the states I don't think this ever happened, it was usually thrown by a friend or spouse of the person having the birthday. I have noticed that as I've gotten older hosting one's own birthday party seems to happen a lot more though. The other thing I noticed about living in OZ is that most of our friends ignore the RSVP (which drives me crazy)! |
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| SanDiablo | Aug 7 2007, 12:18:24 PM Post #10 |
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True Blue Mate
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Why, upon receiving an invitation to a party, would anyone feel anything other than gratitude and delight? Are people really so petty as to even consider the propriety of who is paying for them to have a good time and share in a happy event? How stupid is that! |
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| surfermomkelly | Aug 7 2007, 01:12:54 PM Post #11 |
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True Blue Mate
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Ew never leave right away either or do people at our house (in the us or oz). Its very common for the kids (in Oz) to all fall asleep on the floor or where ever and sometimes the parents just leave them there until the next day. |
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| Jaffas | Aug 7 2007, 02:20:12 PM Post #12 |
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True Blue Mate
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Since being all grown-up, I've found that if you don't host your own party, no-one else will do it for you. That went for the one Birthday I had in the US, too. Mind you.. I've never even had a party for my Birthday!! I must be too lazy or something. :p |
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Manda from Victoria, Australia Marty from Michigan, United States Together we're in Stawell, Victoria  See what we're up to: Our Old Miners Cottage - A blog for our house | |
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| imafranktoo | Aug 7 2007, 04:35:11 PM Post #13 |
Little Miss Key Breaker
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I never threw a party for myself after I moved out of my parents house. However, Neal did throw a surprise party for me once for my 27th birthday and again for my 35th (only it was at a restaurant). As for ettiquette between the countries.....what about someone stopping by say around 4pm...you start dinner at 5pm.....do you ask them to stay for dinner or leave? I was taught you offer them to stay for dinner and normally they will opt out realizing they would be imposing. Jennifer |
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| Kristal | Aug 7 2007, 05:29:45 PM Post #14 |
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True Blue Mate
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I think it depends on the kinds of friends you have. If I was back in the states and I had wanted to celebrate my birthday I might have said hey do you want to come over and have dinner or something. I would not even expect anyone to host a party for me. If I had snobby friends (which I would not be friends with anyway) then I could expect them to think of ill of me for having my own party. But I think in a lot of cases if you don't organize something yourself it just won't happen. You could say no presents please if you think hosting a party makes it seem like you are asking for gifts. I think the general idea is just getting together and having fun to celebrate something. |
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| Angie | Aug 7 2007, 05:48:56 PM Post #15 |
True Blue Mate
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All the birthday parties I have gone to here in Aus have been hosted by the birthday person. I even have two this month where the same applies. My husbands 50th was in July and everyone kept asking him where the party was. When I found out we had to pay for it all I was like WHAT?!?! :eek: Without even knowing I called a restaurant and ask about picking up the tab for the food bill but wanting to know if the guests could pick up their own bar tabs at which point I was told that was not acceptable in Australia! :rolleyes: Seriously I didn't want to fork out hundreds of dollars to get a group of people drunk!! We figured it was going to cost us over $1000 for meals and drinks so in the end we said stuff this and went away on a romantic holiday!! Trust me that money was put to better use! hehe As for other etiquette things I notice: 1. The use of napkins (aka: serviettes)!! Haha I was just ranting about this at the YDU Mel Meet-up! What is wrong with using napkins? I have gone to dinner parties where there was not a single napkin in sight and when I asked for one I was given weird looks. Whats with this?!?!?! I love my clothes to much to be wiping snag grease on them!! Or when you go to a fast food restuarant and ask for a napkin they hand you ONE!! Only 1!! Sheesh like there is some shortage in the serviette industry! 2. The one thing I really like that I notice here is how others notify you with their headlights when you are about to come up on a cop or speed camera. Such an easy thing to do... just flash your headlights. Why don't we do this in the states. It's almost as if we got some sort of sadistic pleasure out of watching some poor sap getting busted. But here... no... everone is so thoughtful and warns you in advance. So thanks for that Aussies!! |
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| Susan | Aug 7 2007, 05:54:44 PM Post #16 |
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Unregistered
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I'm not sure what is considered right or wrong, but I can share a few experiences... Last year a friend hosted her own birthday party. She invited everyone over to the local RSL, and we chose from two different menu choices. At the end of the night, each person or couple paid their portion. Plus everyone brought a gift, even though the birthday girl insisted not to bring one. I've got mixed feeling over how this was done. Another party was organized by a wife for her husbands 40th. The guests all chipped in for one big gift (a sonar fish finder for a boat) and the wife covered the cost of the meals for everyone. My partner and his mum share the same birthday - 4 days after mine. So last year I organized a birthday for the 3 of us at a local park and it was a potluck BBQ. We took care of bringing the BBQ, meat and drinks and then asked everyone else what they wanted to bring. Worked out well.... or at least I hope it did. Not only am I learning the Aussie culture & etiquette, I am in the midst of the Greek culture as well. Many Greeks do not celebrate birthdays as much as some seem to celebrate their "Name Day" - which is apparently a really big deal in some Greek families. So I'd like to think I'm combining a bit of the 3 cultures into birthday events. Not sure what is right or wrong as far as etiquette go. In the USA, my family would usually have an impromptu birthday dinner for me, or we'd combine all the family birthdays for March & April into one big party. I think the best birthday I can remember was a surprise slumber party for my 13th. I thought I was just gong to have a sleepover with a friend from school and all my friends were there and all sorts of junk food was on hand. That was a really big deal in my day. |
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| rhimb | Aug 7 2007, 07:15:38 PM Post #17 |
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True Blue Mate
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I personally wouldn't feel comfortable planning my own birthday party, but that's just me. Angie - About flashing headlights, I thought this was a universal thing? In Texas, people flash their lights to warn of cops lurking all the time! But we also wave to each other when you let someone pass you on the road, etc. Maybe it's just not done all over the US! |
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| Angie | Aug 7 2007, 07:17:53 PM Post #18 |
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True Blue Mate
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Hmmm... and here I only heard bad things about Texans!  I've never seen it in California. When someone did it here in Australia I couldn't figure out what I did wrong and my husband had to explain it to me! But thats cool to know in some parts of the US they know about it! |
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| Dev | Aug 7 2007, 07:57:42 PM Post #19 |
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"No day but today."
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I don't think it's a matter of people being rude or snarky about who's hosting the party. It's more a matter of what is usually done here as opposed to back home. When you move to a different country, it sometimes takes a bit of time to get used to all of the various customs of the new country. I see a lot of people in here saying that it's different from what they grew up with. Fair enough. [size=1](Tors edit: now, let's not get carried away...) [/size]
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Devon ----------------------- "What a shame that bitter irony has no nutritional value."
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| JenbeTas | Aug 7 2007, 08:14:25 PM Post #20 |
Hippie Wannabe sailing the deep blue sea
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I knew that one and used it as well...except that in Illinois, if the cop catches you doing it.....they bust you too...LOL. |
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