| Welcome to Yanks Down Under! You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customising your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Not Your Typical | |
|---|---|
| Topic Started: Aug 30 2007, 10:53:37 PM (431 Views) | |
| imafranktoo | Aug 30 2007, 10:53:37 PM Post #1 |
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
Okay, some are not going to get this one and some will. This might even fall in the "If you don't have kids you might not want to read this area". Read further at your own peril. haha I realized that all 3 of my daughters are not in "elementary" school anymore. I felt this overwhelming sense of "my babies aren't babies anymore". I cried last night as the girls modeled their outfits they wanted to wear to school. Then today I probably made the biggest faux paw I walked them into the school building!! Yep, but I needed to speak to someone though. My middle one was ready to crawl under the building and the little one didn't want me to go because she was scared. Oh boy.....I am the biggest :banghead: someone stamp an "L" on my forehead. What was I thinking? At the same time I don't feel that "Middle School" is "all grown up so now just turn your kids loose" either. Oh geeze....am I a total dweeb. I need a few hugs because I feel so stupid. I have entered unchartered territory because middle/high school in Rowville, it wasn't a big deal to walk with the kids...although I didn't walk up to the building...geeze I lost my head this morning. Why couldn't Neal take them he is joe cool. I'm not. Going to go sit in the corner and have a good :(( . How does one balance letting your kids have space but still be involved? I know a lot of you here have young ones, so don't feel that you have to get where I'm coming from. Rant over, but it sounds more like a pity party. Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
 |
 
|
| Dev | Aug 30 2007, 10:55:40 PM Post #2 |
"No day but today."
|
Aww. Time does fly, doesn't it?
 How's Dad coping with this fact? Has he perfected the Confusion/I-Don't-Want-To-Know look yet?
|
|
Devon ----------------------- "What a shame that bitter irony has no nutritional value." 
| |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Aug 30 2007, 11:08:25 PM Post #3 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
Yes he's perfected the I don't want to know look as it pertains to how certain styles of clothing fit on them. He hides his face in his hand and shakes his head. He's been more "cool" than me...then he epitomises "cool" and I'm a "nerd". We all have our place in the world right? Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| Dev | Aug 30 2007, 11:09:42 PM Post #4 |
|
"No day but today."
|
And HUGE :hugs: to you, Darlin'. Just remember that you have to love them enough to let 'em hate you every once in a while. And hey! You're human! Trust me...it's a good thing! My mom is my best friend now. Middle school is sooooooooo awkward, but thankfully...it passes quickly. |
|
Devon ----------------------- "What a shame that bitter irony has no nutritional value."
| |
|
|
|
| Jaffas | Aug 30 2007, 11:18:31 PM Post #5 |
|
True Blue Mate
|
Caring too much is much better than caring too little.
They'll be less embarrassed about it all when they get older, and one day they'll look back and see just how much you loved them.
|
|
Manda from Victoria, Australia Marty from Michigan, United States Together we're in Stawell, Victoria  See what we're up to: Our Old Miners Cottage - A blog for our house | |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Aug 30 2007, 11:32:09 PM Post #6 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
Thanks both of you. I just need to find something to do like work because I am making myself a total nusance. I know the girls know I love them. I guess I'm making up for what I didn't have from my parents i.e. didn't seem to care about school until I was getting poor grades (yes, I had all A's and B's with a couple of C's thrown in and I was told my grades suck!). I was asked the typical "How was school?" at the dinner table and the usual kid response "It was fine." but that was as far as my parents took it. I ask the girls what new thing did they learn, etc. We usually get the run down of the social scene though. :rollin: Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| TerritorianTori | Aug 30 2007, 11:51:27 PM Post #7 |
It couldn't happen here
|
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: It's the end of an era, as my MIL would say... And you'll be doing the same when they graduate from high school, and again when you drop them off at the college dorm, and when they get married... my mom cried all those times and then some. (cue Elton John's "Cirrrrcle, the Ciiircle of Liiiiiiiiife")
Hehehehe... I am reminded of myself at that age. "Mooooooooooooom! You're embarrassing meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" I mean, my friends could've seen you there! With me! OMG! :rollin: |
 South Texas to the Northern Territory - since 2004 I'm a huge fan of... Angry Video Game Nerd | The Big Bang Theory | Doctor Who | Pet Shop Boys | Yanks Down Under ~ Americans living in Australia Avatar by Sketch Shop Boys I don't do Facebook, sorry. | |
|
|
|
| brett | Aug 31 2007, 12:59:42 AM Post #8 |
|
Chinwagger
|
Is it allowed to just skip the whole 12 - 19 thing. I've already decided that I'm never going to make it through that period with Elsa...and she's not even 1 yet!! Personally, I don't think that Jennifer did anything that every other mom and dad has done at one time or another. Doesn't everyone here have a "oh my god, I remember that time when my mother...I was so embarrassed" story? |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Aug 31 2007, 03:49:21 AM Post #9 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
Honestly, not with my parents. They hardly were at school and when my friends did come to my house they never wanted to come over again. I guess that should have spoke volumes...I didn't get a clue though. :& My father scared one friend of mine that when we got in the car she said to me "I am not coming to your house again." Of course I asked why and she says "Your father scares me." I asked her what he did and she said nothing, but he just scared her. 
|
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| SanDiablo | Aug 31 2007, 10:46:26 AM Post #10 |
|
True Blue Mate
|
Hoo Boy! Like the time I got an award for being a good reader, and my dad was so high on qualudes that he got really emotional and started hugging all the women in the school auditorium, and so my teachers decided they should drive us home and then he pissed in the kitchen. Boy, was my mom mad when she got home from work... |
| "I'll try anything twice." | |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Aug 31 2007, 01:11:23 PM Post #11 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
OH my gosh SanDiablo, I'm sorry for you! How horrible....but I appreciate you sharing that though. Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| SanDiablo | Aug 31 2007, 02:08:24 PM Post #12 |
|
True Blue Mate
|
HA - that was nothing!! Oh, don't be sorry for me...my wacky childhood made me the very happy and adventurous adult I am today. I wouldn't trade the unique perspective it gave me for a 'normal' childhood that might have lead to a dull adulthood. Funny though, if that happened today, the government would put their nose right in the middle of it to protect my best interests...and then where would I be today, having bounced around foster homes and received too much counseling? |
| "I'll try anything twice." | |
|
|
|
| shylady | Aug 31 2007, 03:32:42 PM Post #13 |
oldYank
|
no kidding! Jennifer, I think it was Dave Barry that said it's a parent's JOB to embarrass their children. :mrgreen: Of course, I would never have driven up to my sons' high school in the Oscar Mayer Wiener-mobile like he did, but it's not a bad thing for parents to be "visible." My grown kids' friends have told me they thought I was pretty cool for doing stuff at school, and that I knew all of them and cared enough to wave and say "hi." It's just the expected thing to roll their eyes and say "Awww MOM..." And it IS one of those milestones that come way too fast, I'm glad it made you a little teary, those things go right by too many parents! :cheers: Lisa |
|
"I could’ve turned a different corner, I could’ve gone another place... " ku,'09 | |
|
|
|
| rhimb | Aug 31 2007, 07:26:37 PM Post #14 |
|
True Blue Mate
|
Awww. You are a good mom! I always wished my mom would be able to drop me off or pick me up from school, but she was always working. My little 5-yr old niece started kindergarten on Monday. My sister told me she and her husband took her on the first day, and Jillian (my niece) was begging them not to walk in with her. Apparently, she was acting like she didn't know them and was totally embarassed. She's only 5 for crying out loud!!! I think it really hurt my sister's feelings. Jilli's not usually like that, I was so surprised. |
| Rhianna | |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Sep 1 2007, 09:28:54 AM Post #15 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
I find it amazing how each individual deals with situations like yours in different ways. I am glad you are "the very happy and adventurous adult today" not everyone who goes through crap ends up "happy". You're right that today you would have been yanked and bounced from foster home to foster home.
Funny today I was waiting to pick up the girls from school and my youngest, Jess, comes walking up with her class...she is at the front of the class waving her arms and saying "Mooommmyyy"...I smiled and waved and signaled to tone it down as I didn't want her to get in trouble. As the class was walking back I heard members of her class saying "that's your mom?" :mrgreen: I guess I am doing the things my parents didn't do for me. I am very sensitive to my kids and seeing the milestones. I cried when my oldest started Kindergarten. I cried when the other two started K-4 and K-5 (Kinder for 4 yrs and 5 yrs) because for the first time in 4 years I would have no kids to tend to at home (empty nest). Now I wouldn't drive up in the Weiner mobile...that is a bit over the top. Although, that could be good punishment. lol I just keep in mind how I felt at different ages. My Dad missed lots of school things because he "had to work for the family" (I grew to hate his job and that excuse especially later on when my sibblings got to have him at similar events at school) I learned to be self-sufficient at an early age which is probably why I haven't really lived close to home since 1991. My sibblings live within 20-60 minutes of my parents. If I hadn't gone through the things I did I think I never would have married Neal, or eventually move to Australia. :mrgreen: Anyone who knew me in high school would tell you that my moving to Australia would not have been something I would have done. I was "miss play it safe". It is good to know that I'm not an "insane" parent. I have every intention in being involved with the kids right up through high school even if it means selling tickets for football games and volunteering for the school (if they still do that). Anyone have suggestions on what "not to do" as a parent with teenagers? Ohh, good punishment....kids invite friends over and come in with rollers in my hair, cup of coffee in one hand, fuzzy bathrobe (over sleep pants & tshirt), and fuzzy slippers! LOL Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| Volcane08 | Sep 1 2007, 09:48:27 AM Post #16 |
True Blue Mate
|
I suggest be yourself, even if you are the nutty mum with rollers and fuzzy apparel! Why be normal? That's so B-O-R-I-N-G! :zzz: Teenagers get over it. Or, as adults, they write memoirs and profit from "the trauma"! :rollin: |
|
|
|
| Volcane08 | Sep 1 2007, 09:52:24 AM Post #17 |
|
True Blue Mate
|
BTW, San Diablo...ever think about publishing your memoirs? Heck, I'm already intrigued...! :mrgreen: |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Sep 1 2007, 11:49:36 PM Post #18 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
SanDiablo, I'm intrigued too.....not to often you meet an adult who has stories like yours and is a "happy adult"....usually their in therapy telling the story for the hundredth time.... :wave: I did that....therapy didn't help....hmm, maybe I should try a different approach and look at how nutty it all was instead of being sad I didn't have a "normal childhood" with "normal parents" and a "normal immediate family" (some how extended family ended up fairly normal... :headscratch: ) and just laugh it off. Oh, got to tell this story from being a teenager. I had my bestfriend over to my grandparents during the summer. My grandparents have an inground pool. We had spent the day lounging by the pool...I got a bad sunburn on the back of my neck and felt nausea the rest of the day and spent the rest of the time in the house. Anyways...that night the whole family is out in the pool goofing around (I'm not there still not feeling good). My grandfather picks up a plastic bucket (one that you build a sandcastle with), fills it with water, goes to throw the water at my friend and the handle ends up breaking just as my grandfather thrusts the water out so not only did she get water she got hit in the forehead (not hard) with a plastic bucket!! :rofl: I was soooo embarrassed....I survived. Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| SanDiablo | Sep 2 2007, 09:49:35 AM Post #19 |
|
True Blue Mate
|
HA! You don't even want to know how my dad walked out of the bedroom when my friends were around! Let's just say there certainly was not a fuzzy bath robe involved. My friends would go wide eyed and be horrified...I just rolled my eyes and shrugged it off. I had a few years in therapy, too. They didn't help either. I used to mourn for my sorry childhood - then when I was 19, I met my "birth father" (i.e. the gene donor, not my staepfather who is "Dad" to me.) When I learned about the type of parent I might have had, I became suddenly grateful for the life I did have! (Oh yes, this will be a great memoir someday!!) I have a freind who had the most normal leave-it-to beaver childhood you can imagine. He is happy, but he is also OCD and struggles whenever he is faced with something he cannot fully control. So, there is no set recipe for a successful childhood. Re-visit the story of the ugly duckling...if your 'birth family' doesn't give you what you need to thrive, find yourself an extended family that does!! The best way to be with your kids is simply to be GENUINE, which you are doing. Take an interest, be involved with them. Cry, be angry, hurt, joyful, silly - teach them how to handle emotions, not how to not have them. Don't have double standards or ever say "Do as I say, not as I do." Kids learn far more from how you act than from what you tell them. And don't try to be their best friend...you are their mother, and that roll is more important, more unique. Despite my dad's wacky drugged out behavior, he had some strong principles. But ulitmately my mom's character is what shaped my own. She is just awesome! The only "bad thing" is that from watching their relationship, I pretty well learned to cut people slack indefinitely, but even that isn't such a bad thing...now I simply call it compassion. I mean, who doesn't want endless forgiveness? Teenage years come with hormone fueled behaviors that cannot be avoided, and then there is just the whole process of growing up - of learning that you don't know as much as you think you do when you are 14. Often, I see other young girls behaving badly, like whining at their mother in dressing rooms - I cringe and immediately call my mom and apologize for ever having acted that way! Jennifer, in a selfish and weird way, I'm kind of glad you moved back to the US, because I find you guys very interesting, and now you are more active on the forum...I mean, I'm not glad you had to move back...just glad you are here! Whoo, what a rant...I need another cup of coffee! |
| "I'll try anything twice." | |
|
|
|
| imafranktoo | Sep 2 2007, 01:15:19 PM Post #20 |
|
Little Miss Key Breaker
|
I try my best to be genuine and I do take a huge interest in my kids right down to the point of listening to the "so and so at school, did such and such" etc. I have shown my kids all the emotions right down to telling them "Look I'm super mad and need time to cool off, please go and I will talk later when I'm not as mad." I most certainly am not of the "Do as I say, not as I do". This was one of my father's favorite sayings. I never understood it until one night after babysitting my sibblings, I was 17. My father was (still is) a big "don't drink and drive" kind of guy. This particular night my parents had gone to a Halloween party and came home around 11pm. My mom wakes me up to tell me they are home. I asked here where my dad was and she said "outside he's not feeling well" which is code for "dad is drunk". I asked her "Did dad drive home?" she replied "yes" I simply rolled over and said "goodnight". I was tweaked....lost a ton of respect for them. Now I don't care about the drinking so much but the driving is what got under my skin. So, I have made sure I don't say one thing to my kids that I am not willing to subject myself to the same scruitny. I don't think parents should be their kids best friends. We are their parents first and foremost. To many kids treat their parents like they are one of their "buddies" my kids have tried this and I have gently pushed back and told them "you will not treat me like one of your buddies at school. This will not continue and if it does you will have a punishment like out of this world."
:rollin: I am glad we are back in the US too! Thanks, I'm glad you think we're interesting. We would have been on more while in Oz but paying $300 to get a phone connected just to have internet was over the top expensive. To get a wireless card was just as expensive so it just wasn't worth it. Has anyone had a parent "spy" on them or a friend? My dad picked me and my friend up from an 8th grade dance. While I was retrieving someone else we were giving a ride to my dad was watching in the rear view mirror my friend make out with a kid from school! Talk about wanting to hide under the car! Jennifer |
| FRANKIES[color][font][/color][/font] | |
|
|
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · General Chit-Chat · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
7:10 PM May 19